The Grumpy Scale...

Every critic needs a rating system that readers can identify with and intuitively use when deciding on a restaurant. So obviously before I dive in and start giving you my restaurant reviews, let me introduce you to what I have dubbed the "Grumpy Scale."

I really enjoy the simplicity of a 4 star rating system, so that's what I am going with. I can't stand half stars or quarter stars--just make a decision already and stick with it! There will be no hedging of bets here, you'll immediately know if a restaurant is worth your time and effort. My stars, however, are going to mean something a bit more than good, great, exemplary, or any other such empty adjective critics like to throw about. My stars are designed to guide you straight to the right restaurant for your mood and the occasion.

So without further ado, say hello to the "Grumpy Scale":

0 Stars: I'll never get those 90 mins. of my life back
1 Star: Good Concept, Poor Execution (note that this annoys me to no end)
2 Stars: Enjoyable Neighborhood Spot Worthy of a Repeat Visit
3 stars: Worth Traveling Above 14th Street For
4 stars: One of the Reasons to Never Leave NYC

There you go; now stay tuned for my FIRST review. Ohhh, so exciting (dripping sarcasm).